Celo
by shadowcaster01
Summary: He was his best friend, and he knew it wasn't right...


_Hey everyone!_

_This is yet another fic in response to several challenges on HPFC. The details are down below._

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It wasn't fair…

She'd taken his best friend away from him, the one person who, for the last six years, had understood him and never judged him for it. James was always there for him, even when he didn't want him to be. Sirius remembered when he ran away from home two years ago. He stood outside James' door for what seemed like an hour, wondering if his family would be okay with taking him in. But he needn't have worried; James was the one to open the door in the middle of the night, a smile on his face as always. He didn't say a word, but just gestured in a way that simply said: _my house is your house, you're always welcome here._ At that moment it felt as though a great weight had lifted from him. James didn't care about who or what he was, just that he was himself, and that was all that mattered to his best friend. He was his brother in all but blood, and Sirius thought that they'd go through everything together.

He was wrong…

James was hanging around with his friends less often than he used to, and it was all her fault. Ever since he somehow managed to convince Lily to go out with him, James didn't participate in pranks, or stalking the hallways after hours, or sneaking off to Hogsmeade between classes for gags and butterbeer. He even stopped confronting _Snivelus_ whenever he stalked past. Most of the time James would just shake his head and walk on by, as if the rotten Slytherin hadn't even been there.

At first, James' infatuation with the girl had been a joke, and the four of them would laugh about it after James made a fool of himself in front of their peers. A few years later and the three of them found that he didn't laugh anymore when they brought it up. James would sigh dejectedly for a while before babbling on about how great his Lily was, as if she were better than Merlin himself. Whenever his friend acted that way, Sirius would look at him and shake his head in sympathy and irritation. Every year it got worse, and Sirius felt his best friend slipping away from him each time.

He wished it were that easy, though…

After listening to James prattle on and on about her for four years straight, Sirius was sure that he'd strangle the girl if he saw her again when they began their fifth year. It annoyed him to no end to hear about her hair, or her eyes, or the way she was somehow more beautiful when she was yelling at James. About halfway through the year it all changed, and he had no real clue when exactly it had happened. Sirius remembered seeing her around Valentine's Day in Hogsmeade with her friends, whose names he could never recall. She was laughing at something one of those girls had said, her eyes shining with amusement and a smile on her face that he had never seen before. He'd stared after her as she'd rounded the corner and out of sight, a strange swooping sensation in his stomach. Sirius had never seen her smile so wide, or heard her laugh; it was a beautiful sound.

He'd beaten that thought away as soon as it crossed his mind; she was Lily, the one who turned into a screeching banshee whenever she laid eyes on him or his friends, especially after someone had been pranked. The bloody goody two shoes who went around telling people off for misbehaving in the corridors or the common room. Why would he think something like that about a girl like her? She wasn't anyone special to him, and _James_ was the moron who had been so obviously pining over her anyway…

Then everything got worse…

As time went by, Sirius found that he had to wrench his gaze away from her in class, and resist the urge to grin stupidly when she passed him by. He even seemed to become tongue-tied when she glanced his way. It was irritating and confusing; he had no problems being around her before, so why had this suddenly affected him so much now? Lily used to be a mere annoyance, someone that he could goad easily into losing her temper when she found out they were up to something. Now, he had a hard time keeping up his nonchalant façade with her near, and James' constant flirting with her grated on his last nerve.

It was one afternoon before their last class for the day, and James struck out once again. His best friend moped for five minutes and sprung back up with a cheery grin, talking nonstop about how he was sure to win Lily over the next time he saw her. Remus and Peter had just stared at their friend, but Sirius struggled to keep his expression neutral. He was just so _angry_ all of a sudden. Then he realized: James' constant chatter and his repetitive attempts to win her favor no longer gained his sympathy. The revelation left him reeling. This was his _best friend, _how could he even consider him in such a way? They'd all been through so much, and this was how he thanked him? Sirius was disgusted with himself. It was wrong, and James didn't deserve to be treated that way, even if he never noticed it.

A few days afterwards, Sirius came to another startling conclusion, one that he had known but never wanted to admit to himself. He liked her a lot more than he had first thought, and he couldn't tell James. It was ridiculous; he'd never had to hide anything from his best friend before, they shared just about everything. It went against all that he stood for, but he knew that this secret could possibly ruin their friendship, and Sirius didn't want that. Without James, Sirius was sure that he'd fall apart; he'd always been there for him when he needed someone to talk to, or just sit there with him staring aimlessly into space. James even let him into his home.

He'd been hiding it all for so long…

It drove him crazy sometimes, especially when Lily would pass him, arm in arm with his best friend. The way they would look at each other usually left him feeling empty and rotten. Sirius knew he could do nothing about it, though. James was everything to him, and after all of the effort he'd put in, he'd finally won her over. Sirius could never take that away from him, that would be wrong. Although he always put on a carefree smile, Sirius couldn't lie to himself. He loved his best friend's girl, and he would smile and stand aside, wishing them all the happiness in the world, even if he was breaking inside.

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_Hope you all liked it._

_This was written for:_

_Empress Empoleon's Colors Competition – Orange_

_Cookies-and-Ink's Not For The Faint of Heart Competition – Operation Taboo_

_HollyPotter28's Latin Challenge – Celo_

_Fire the Canon's April Fanfiction Tournaments Competition – Round Two_

_Lil'MissChris' HP Potions Competition – Dogsbane_

_InLoveWithLaughing's Three's a Crowd Competition _

_GlitterNGold's Wand Wood Competition – Alder_

_Until next time, peace out!_

_Shadowcaster01_


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